Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I can read

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Country music singer opens up about HIV status, sexuality with release of new song - MassLive

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What is a mouse breather?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Don't you think Democrats are so full of it stool softener and an enema couldn't help them?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Braves Place Chris Sale On 15-Day IL With Ribcage Fracture - MLB Trade Rumors

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can count

Brian Wilson’s Friend Remembers First Night “Pop Genius Turned Up At The Door For A Pizza” - Deadline

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Measles vaccinations drop as CDC updates travel guidance - Yahoo

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Most freshwater game fish in Southern California carry invasive parasites capable of infecting humans, study finds - Phys.org

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Column | Phil Mickelson’s legacy: Helping pro golfers and diminishing pro golf - The Washington Post

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have a reading level above third grade

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

How a grad student got LHC data to play nice with quantum interference - Ars Technica

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What parts of the Bible, if any, are inappropriate to read to children? Why?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Field of 16: Will Mexico be dream homecoming for Daniel Suárez? - NASCAR.com

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

How do you identify a woman player?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

The everyday activity that can reveal your brain’s age - BBC

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t cotton to rapists

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t buy bullshit

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”